I hate to say it, I wasn’t always this cynical. I didn’t grow up this way. In fact, I grew up in just the opposite way, in the age of Aquarius and enlightenment, we were supposed to transcend the old madness of warfare and learn a better way to live life. I wan’t exactly a hippie, but I sure wanted to be one. I grew up in the late 60’s and early 70’s and my dog days of summer were spent in cut-offs, with long blond hair, wearing my love beads and being a “Jesus Freak”. I had an innocent smile and was blissfully ignorant of the evils of life at that time. Love could conquer all, I thought. When the Vietnam war burned out with not a bang, but a fizzle, we all felt pretty confident, that life would go on, and only get better and better.

After all, we had women’s rights, minority rights, gay rights, civil rights, we were learning how to take care of our planet better and I grew up in the age of the development of the EPA and as well as EEOC and the NAACP and Sesame Street. Didn’t Ray Stevens sing to us, “Everyone is beautiful, in their own way”? Didn’t Sly and the Family Stone, tell us, “We’ve got to live together”? I believed it with my whole heart and soul.  I was taught, in my mostly white bread classrooms, if we all take care of the earth and each other, everything will be OK. I sang it in my church, “Morning has broken, like the first morning”. Today is the first day, of the rest of your life. This was our collective mantra.

Now, I am older, but still no wiser. I still am struggling with all the ambiguity of life, as I am sure many people are doing as well. I was too young to really understand the full impact of Kennedy brothers and Martin Luther King assassinations, but the very fact, we had three assassinations so very close together in just 3 short years, in itself is a incredulous fact. The odds of that happening must be in the billions. Probably the same odds as two planes hitting the World Trade Centers and having both buildings crumble within minutes of each other, seemingly like a planned implosion. It seems too impossible, implausible to be true. Yet, I am supposed to believe it.

The very first chink in my armor of understanding of blind belief system was the Watergate hearings that led to the resignation of a US president, Richard Nixon. It was incredulous, the very idea, of being “dishonest” was enough to make a “President of the United States of America”, resign in defeat. If that happened today, would we even hear about it or would it become another “blip” on the radar screen of public opinion? At that time, it was shocking, yet years later we have become rather blase about presidential indiscretions,and our open and supposedly “free” press, has become yet another “fake” reality TV series.

The second disenchantment came with the oil crisis, which paradoxically happened at the same time. The riveting news story of Watergate somehow took our attention away from the fact that our money was being drained out of wallets with long, long gas lines. Yet again, we see this happening today. While the media assures us things are getting better because Obama Bin Laden is dead, at the same time we are being robbed blind by the corporate oil and banking barons. The old feeling of mistrust persists. The body quietly disposed at sea, much in the same way, President Kennedy’s assassin was murdered before the facts could be analyzed or known. Whenever you have the evidence “disappear” you have to wonder. The bodies quietly taken away in the middle of the night, the cabin in the woods that of course, caught fire and destroyed all the evidence. Again, when evidence disappears, it seems too implausible, too impossible to be true. I hear they are going to be demolishing the Sandy Hook Elementary School. I’m not surprised, it’s evidence of what did or did not happen that day.

I have to wonder, if it was so difficult to get to Bin Laden, how could it be so easy to remove his dead body and bury it at sea? I do know one thing, and one thing, only. After all this time, the industrial military complex would want us to still believe, that war is the still the answer, but I stopped believing in war, a very long long time ago. As John Lennon would say, if he were stll here, “All we are saying, is give peace a chance.”

So when I heard about Sandy Hook, the story did not sit right with me, yet again. The “BS” meter went off inside of me. Too many inconsistances, too many different stories, or really no story at all? Unlike the news that I heard growing up, there had to be fact-checking, and double fact-checking before anything was put on the air. We would hear terms, ” pending investigation” vs. the name of the shooter within 10 minutes of the actual event.  I’ll admit we have become a “fast food nation” and I’ll blame it on McDonald’s and computers. This is a day and age of instant gratifications, to our own detriment. We need to be patient and take time to really gather and digest all the facts. I am far from a conspiracy theorist, but at the same time, I don’t believe everything the mainstream media says anymore, and I would venture to guess that I am not alone.

So when I hear or see something that just does not make sense, or is preposperous, or just plain illogical, I just to have to start asking questions. The questions I ask, would be the ones I would expect investigative journalists to ask, but that does not seem to exist anymore. But where are the hard investigative journalists? They have become extinct, like the dinosaur and replaced with celebrity status.

My lack of trust, comes back to me from my childhood, and how we were raised to never trust anyone over 30.  If I hear a news story, I need to see the evidence, I need to know the facts can be verified from more than one source. In this day and age of green-screens, movie studio effects and special effects, it’s hard to know what is real anymore. And not knowing, can make you seem and feel a little crazy.

So when you can’t know the facts, because they change all the time, or the facts are covered up or destroyed, then you then have to ask a simpler question, Who benefits and/or what is the REAL story that you are being distracted from thinking about?

Who benefited from JFK’s assassination? The obivious choice would be Lynden Johnson and the industrial military complex who wanted to keep the Vietnam War going. After all, it happened in TX, in LBJ’s own stomping grounds where he would have the best control over the outcome, it was more than likley a military coup? I mean, even before JFK was technically “cold”, his dead body still warm, LBJ was being sworn in as President in an airplane. What about 911? Who benefits? Did the Bush family with their connections to the Osama Bin Laden family? How about Dick Cheney, with his relationship with Halliburton? Haliburton and others cleaned up big during the war in Afganistan and made a ton of money. What laws were passed then, The Patriot Act, and others designed to strip away American rights?

What about Sandy Hook? Who could possibly benefit from something like horrific like that? Apparently, after Sandy Hook more weapons and ammo have been sold than ever before, so much so, there appears to be a nationwide shortage? Is that a coincindence or part of a plan? What about the shifting paradiagm that is creating a police state before our very eyes? The mainstream media that is creating a culture of “fear, panic, and distrust”? Who could possibly benefit from that? Spy cameras going up in every major city, drones to be deployed, fake FEMA drills guaranteed to create disorder and panic? Who will benefit from that?

You might count me as a conspiracy theorist, but I’d rather say that I am just an official doubter. I doubt any of the above happened the way it was explained by the mainstream media. I doubt that this post will even see the light of day. Why because it is not “sanctioned” either way. It’s ok to be a “tin-foil” hat wearer and claim some outrageous theory that can be ridiculed (i.e. the aliens did it) vs. just to be skeptical and doubt the “official story”.

There are those who are put out there just to be ridiculed, to take our eye off the ball, of what is really happening which is a slow stripping away of our freedoms, our bill of rights and our constitution. Those Gen X and Milleneums who are still listening to the “mainstream”, will eventually be disillusioned, but then you have a whole generation of boomers just like myself who are well over 30, and who were raised not to trust, and quite frankly, we just don’t believe it anymore. So to those who are spinning the stories and wagging the dog, good luck with that.